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His friendsвЂ™ trigger points were easy to spot and they resulted in classic, violent meltdowns which Timothy struggled to understand. вЂњThey would poke us, annoy us and wind us up because they knew they would see some fireworks.вЂќ If they played it in the corridors, the вЂњpesky little fliesвЂќ would turn up. Timothy Folkema вЂ“ Keys/Organ, second left, with Chris Field вЂ“ Bass, Matthew Mooney вЂ“ Drums Tevita Tuvuki вЂ“ Vocals, Farai Zvingwe вЂ“ Emcee, Daphiney Owen вЂ“ Vocals The three friends had nowhere at school to do their duelling and battling other than in the library which, because it was a quiet place, meant they could not be their usual vocal selves. The main one was Dragon Ball Z, which follows the adventures of Goku who defends the Earth against villains.

вЂњWe formed a group and we got into trading card games.вЂќ There they met another boy who was autistic. It sparked a friendship which continued into high school. And I thought вЂkids are mocking this guy and beating him up because heвЂ™s different and here he is with this whole world inside his headвЂ™.вЂќ вЂњHe started describing everything he saw. Timothy asked if he could enter his world. He would run around the school playing these PokГ©mon games in his head, imagining his whole world with PokГ©mon characters everywhere.вЂќ вЂњI was fascinated by him, a really interesting character. In his last year at intermediate, he met another guy who was autistic and who loved PokГ©mon.

He supports that stance though as he feels God did sort it out and is a great believer of a cooperative approach with the physical and spiritual realms. My parents had always said: вЂWeвЂ™ll let God sort it outвЂ™ so they didnвЂ™t invest in any counselling.вЂќ It sounds horrible but I didnвЂ™t know it was that easy to end your life.

I didnвЂ™t know about self-harming or that sort of thing. I had friends who had ended their own lives. вЂњI had many, many situations where I had suicidal ideations. Baring his soul вЂ“ how did it help Timothy and other victims? The bullying continued at intermediate school. I would do weird things like try and speak to them in German to do something different, I was looking for a way out of a situation where those people were hurting me.вЂќ

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вЂњThe kids used to bully me and I did not know how to respond and I was not raised to respond violently so I wouldnвЂ™t. вЂњI remember even before I was diagnosed I reacted in certain situations that were different.

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He had a variety of health problems, including a visual impairment, so his autism went undiagnosed until he was 12 when a group of visiting trainee psychologists were in Havelock North doing free diagnoses. Some of the teachers would verbally abuse me and the students would physically abuse me because I was seen as different.вЂќ вЂњSome of the worst years of my life actually was the school. The family moved to Havelock North when he was about seven into a Spanish mission art deco house across the road from Havelock North Primary School. Timothy was born in Wellington in 1990, the younger of two boys. Today, the 27-year-old community support facilitator with Progress to Health* in Hamilton, talks about how вЂњus alternative peopleвЂќ could go in and play card and computer games without the irritating вЂњpesky little fliesвЂќ (aka bullies) making their life a misery in the corridors.Дragon Ball Z got him through high school, he laughs. Timothy, who had been diagnosed with autism the year before while at intermediate school, describes the teacher as a вЂњgenuinely good personвЂќ who gave up her lunch break to ensure there was a place for the bullied teenager to hang out with his friends.

WHEN A TEACHER ATВ Havelock North High School 14 years ago opened up her classroom for three days each week during lunch-time, she was not to know it would make such a difference in Timothy FolkemaвЂ™s life. 22В January 2018 вЂ“ Music, poetry and a desire to help others in the Hamilton community are key to survival for Timothy Folkema today but as Mary Anne Gill writes, it was all so different when he was a bullied teenager because of his autism.

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